Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
-A Course in Miracles
Love, sweet love. It is so much more than romance – in fact I’d argue that on many occasions romance, as sweet as it is, has more to do with lust and infatuation. However, as it still is one of the most delicious (and delirious!) manifestations of the wonderful energy that love is, let’s spend a moment thinking about why the thing that most people really want -a real union with another soul- is also the very thing that also frightens them and brings up all their emotional baggage, insecurities and issues.
So many people are afraid of the exposure and vulnerability that a real connection with another human being brings. Instead of focusing on having secure boundaries such as being able to say no, they build barriers to hide behind. They lead themselves into believing that they are not lovable, that if anyone ever saw how broken, imperfect, dirty, ugly or weak they are, they would never love or want them. They -all of us- abandon parts of themselves in order to become what they believe the other person wants. They allow their pain and unhealed wounds of their history to dictate their ability to receive love. Giving love is easy. Receiving it is a lot harder.
What barriers have you put up? What resistance to you hold to love?
Connecting with another human being includes an element of risk. Opening yourself up to potential pain is never easy, but there are a few better mirrors than a genuine love relationship. Do you always choose unsuitable partners in order to avoid exposure and end up begging for their approval? Are you always the one to walk away? Be authentic and truthful with yourself – it could just be your inner being longing to be accepted and approved but terrified of being rejected.
Terrified of being rejected by you, longing to be accepted by you.
You are the love of your life, and once you get that the whole world is going to love you right back. It may not be in the form you expect, and not always in a romantic package, but real love it will be for sure!
11/11/11 – A powerful day of unity, healing and clear intentions.
Take a few moments today to reflect upon the pain you’re still holding on to: past hurts, disappointments, resentments and fears may all come to surface now, along with the truth and real colours of certain relationships.
Allow them to be, accept they are there and then let them go. You could try writing all this down and burning or tearing the paper outdoors, creating a powerfully symbolic gesture of release.
Acceptance and forgiveness mean liberating ourselves from what no longer serves us. It’s not about condoning violence, unlawful acts or cruelty, but rather unhooking from things, people and events that may have caused us to live in fear, anger and distress. If this feels very difficult, get some support around you – today is the beginning of a new way of being authentic and creating genuine connections to our fellow human beings.
We are now learning to realise that we are free, and with freedom comes personal and collective responsibility.
Then, spend a few moments clarifying your intentions for the future, using present tense. Allow yourself the love, support, abundance, health and healing. Notice any resistance that may surface, and meet it with compassion. Again, writing things down will boost your creative energy.
Once upon a time and happily ever after are here and now.
Who said pigs don’t fly?
Last Sunday I had an honour to be a studio guest on one of the national radio channels in Finland, YleX.
You can listen to the two-hour show online in Finland and some other countries within the EU until the morning of Sunday November 6th (it’s all in Finnish, sorry!). Just click here:
YleX Korjaussarja 30.10.2011 – Paranormaalit Ilmiöt
A wonderful journalist from Finnish Radio 1 came to see me a few weeks ago. She also interviewed a researcher from the University of Helsinki, and the programme was aired on November 3rd.
We have pretty opposing points of view, but I’m hoping this will be an opening to dialogue between two worlds!
You can download or listen to the interview by clicking the link below – and yes, it’s also in Finnish.
Yle 1 Ajankohtainen Ykkönen 3.11.2011 – Näkijä